I'm a blogger, comedian, and responsible pet owner. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (but just to eat).

My web series, It Gets Betterish is worth your time, I promise.

I also created My Parents Were Awesome, which is also a book that you can buy! With money!

You can see me here, live:

99 Comics For The 99 Percent -- UCB East, NYC -- 5/1 @ 8:00 PM
Real Characters -- McNally Jackson Books, 52 Prince St., Manhattan -- 5/9 @ 7:00 PM
Big Shrink -- UCB East, NYC -- 5/28 @ 9:30 PM
Golden Girls Vs. Designing Women -- The Bell House, Brooklyn -- 6/7 @ 7:30 PM


You can reach me here. My assistant, Atticus -- a Schnauzer/Havanese mix -- will get back to you as soon as possible.

I would like these to never stop happening.

Remember when your mom left you a Facebook message on her co-worker’s wall?

[Full disclosure: I directed this.]

[And that’s my mom.]

“Fags <3 cats!” - Stanley Steemer

“Fags <3 cats!” - Stanley Steemer

It&#8217;s exactly what it looks like.

It’s exactly what it looks like.

Have a great weekend!

It’s awesome that at the ripe old age of “culturally irrelevant,” [McKnight] is confident that he grasps the finer points of pleasing a woman — he has awarded himself with a PHD in female orgasms. But sorry Dr. Clam, I nailed that curriculum before I hit double digits, when my mom walked in on me with my feet up on the headboard.
— Finally, a rebuttal to the best song of all time, Brian McKnight’s “ifUReady2Learn (C.A.T.S.),” a.k.a. “Let Me Show You How Your P*ssy Works”
&#8220;At 93, I never would have thought I&#8217;d still be such a fucking dickhead that I&#8217;d take out a full-page ad in the hopes of crushing the dreams of complete strangers who, in my opinion, don&#8217;t deserve equal rights happiness because, whatever, I&#8217;m a huge dickhead.
And, also, I just pooped my pants.&#8221; - Billy Graham

“At 93, I never would have thought I’d still be such a fucking dickhead that I’d take out a full-page ad in the hopes of crushing the dreams of complete strangers who, in my opinion, don’t deserve equal rights happiness because, whatever, I’m a huge dickhead.

And, also, I just pooped my pants.” - Billy Graham

“Oh, and we’re all trying to become one person. A Supergay, if you will.”

Steve Harvey, WHY ARE YOU MAKIN’ ME H8 U?

bobbyfinger:

GPOYW: Hey cool two frans wrote things in this issue of BlackBook and you should read both Tyler’s profile of gay comedians (including Eliot Glazer and Dave Holmes) and Louis’ profile of Alison Brie (when it hits newsstands) edition!

And that&#8217;s not even Sia!

bobbyfinger:

GPOYW: Hey cool two frans wrote things in this issue of BlackBook and you should read both Tyler’s profile of gay comedians (including Eliot Glazer and Dave Holmes) and Louis’ profile of Alison Brie (when it hits newsstands) edition!

And that’s not even Sia!

Source: bobbyfinger

The nightmare continues, now with Mom Jeans.

Overheard at the party: “Dude, I think your friend’s on coke.”

The Webby for Best Actress went to a dude. Because women don't use computers? →

Your typical Andy Cohen fan

Your typical Andy Cohen fan

Rick Santoro and his daughters.
— Madame President Kim Kardashian on which candidates she finds impressive, for their “family connection”