I'm a blogger, comedian, and responsible pet owner. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (but just to eat).

My web series, It Gets Betterish is worth your time, I promise.

I also created My Parents Were Awesome, which is also a book that you can buy! With money!

You can see me here, live:

HOT TUB -- Littlefield, Brooklyn -- 2/13 @ 8:00
IRL -- The PIT, Manhattan, 2/19 @ 8:00
HOW I LEARNED -- Happy Endings, Manhattan -- 2/22 @ 8:00
OSCARS VIEWING PARTY -- 92Y Tribeca, Manhattan 2/26 @ 7:30
OUR HIT PARADE -- Joe's Pub, Manhattan -- 2/29 @ 9:30
THE JUKEBOX -- Union Hall, Brooklyn 3/12 @ 8:00

You can reach me here. My assistant, Atticus -- a Schnauzer/Havanese mix -- will get back to you as soon as possible.

19th January 2012

This guy (on the right, not Tony Hawk) researched my e-mail address just to call me “a douchier, more hipster d-list Perez Hilton wannabe.”  UPDATE: He added “Don’t choke on your boyfriend’s santorum tonight,” which is EXACTLY what gay people do! We eat each other’s poop and then we choke on it! I refuse to suggest he make a “Shit Obese Snowboarders With The E-mail Address phishy11@aol.com Say” response video.

This guy (on the right, not Tony Hawk) researched my e-mail address just to call me “a douchier, more hipster d-list Perez Hilton wannabe.” 

UPDATE: He added “Don’t choke on your boyfriend’s santorum tonight,” which is EXACTLY what gay people do! We eat each other’s poop and then we choke on it!

I refuse to suggest he make a “Shit Obese Snowboarders With The E-mail Address phishy11@aol.com Say” response video.

  1. boomigotyaboyfriendigotyoman reblogged this from eliotglazer and added:
    Two things: 1) He looks just like his mama,...COUPON QUEEEEEEN. 2) My husband is from NYC....
  2. dailybez said: HAHAHAHA
  3. theapiary said: Not to generalize, but people with AOL email addresses usually have chromosomal abnormalities. Don’t hurt the kid too much.
  4. khealywu said: Tony Hawk like really doesn’t want to be in this picture.
  5. zachdionne said: Dude. 137,000 views. Please ignore the haters!
  6. barthur said: i wish tony hawk called you that
  7. ohrohin said: to your credit: you have more hair than perez. point: YOU, not perez, and not Tony Hawk.
  8. eliotglazer posted this