Eliot Glazer

So did Chris Brown, like, sign an Asshole Contract?

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 16:09:40 -0500

So did Chris Brown, like, sign an Asshole Contract?

stryker: Every damn day. So sue me, I like to support my...

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 15:41:14 -0500

stryker:

Every damn day.

So sue me, I like to support my friends!

"I went to a plastic surgeon, and she said I had the worst deviated septum that she had ever seen...."

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 13:36:17 -0500

“I went to a plastic surgeon, and she said I had the worst deviated septum that she had ever seen. She only partially fixed the deviated septum but completely changed my nose around. I used to be able to put quarters up my nose, now I can only put dimes.”

- David Wain, re: his nose job

Woman in Comedy: A really scary thing happened to me last night at a comedy show.

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 12:04:19 -0500

gabydunn:

Part of me thinks it’s too soon to be writing about this because I don’t think I’ve completely processed how I feel, but I also think maybe this has happened to other women and I should talk about it in as raw a way as possible. I’m still really embarrassed and ashamed and garbled up inside, but maybe this can start a helpful discussion in terms of women and comedy.

Last night, I was on a stand up show in the East Village. The show started out with a small crowd and the host did an amazing job interacting with them and riling them up. By the time I got on stage, there were about 20 or so more people in the audience and the place had really filled up. The show was still kind of loose because of the back and forth between the host and the audience, so when I got on stage, I riffed a bit about the stuff that had happened before and then talked to one guy on the side of the audience who the host had dubbed “Banana Republic.” All joke-y. All in good fun.

Then, I start my actual set and do my first two jokes, which go pretty okay. I start another joke that is vaguely sexual - not crude, not crass - mainly silly and that goes well too. The next joke I do is about my boyfriend.

At a comedy show, when you’re on stage, usually you can’t see the audience because of the bright lights. So I’m looking into pitch darkness. As I start the joke, someone yells, “Does your boyfriend know?” referring to the sexuality joke I’d just told. I stop, laugh and say that he does because I think it’s just more of the loose environment that’s been going on at this show. I attribute it to an audience member just having fun.

I start to tell the joke about my boyfriend again, and at the midway point, the same voice yells something else derogatory about my boyfriend, homophobic and misogynistic towards me. I stop, confused. I can’t see who is talking to me so I make a HUGE mistake and say, “Sir, if you’re gonna talk to me, you need to come to the front because I can’t see you.” I think calling him out like this will shut him up.

Read More

Awesome person is awesome.

Uh, I think you mean Which TLC band member are you?, because...

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:11:57 -0500

Uh, I think you mean Which TLC band member are you?, because that’s T-BOZ

THE HAIRPIN FTW

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:11:17 -0500

THE HAIRPIN FTW

OMG, SWV!!!

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 14:16:50 -0500

OMG, SWV!!!

"We don’t have to have sex only with each other to be faithful. I’m completely faithful to him,..."

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:39:41 -0500

“We don’t have to have sex only with each other to be faithful. I’m completely faithful to him, emotionally and with my heart. I can still get gang-banged and want to go back home to him.”

- ~~Leading gender studies professor~~ gay porn star, ruining my life

And we’re done here! So long, everything!

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:54:03 -0500

And we’re done here! So long, everything!

msknope: The best.

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:15:12 -0500

msknope:

The best.

To all the H8RZ:NOW try telling us we’re not New York...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:02:00 -0500

To all the H8RZ:

NOW try telling us we’re not New York Jews. Go ahead.

How is Don Lemon 46 years old???

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 13:27:20 -0500

How is Don Lemon 46 years old???

bobbyfinger: tylercoates: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Mikala Bierma...

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:31:43 -0500

bobbyfinger:

tylercoates:

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

Mikala Bierma and I are hosting a show on Sunday night at The PIT. It will feature the following hilarious folks:

EMMY BLOTNICK
ELIOT GLAZER
HALLE KIEFER
MIKE LACHER
JACK MOORE
LOUIS PEITZMAN

It’s only $8! What a deal, right? And there’s also a bar, which will enhance the hilarity. Added bonus: I’m terrified of being on stage so you might see me pass out!

So many funny people to heckle! I can’t wait!

Be there or be …elsewhere! But try to come?

GULP (“I’m comfortable in my...

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:30:00 -0500

*GULP*

(“I’m comfortable in my gown.”)

(Okay!)

LOOK AT THE PAINTING AT THE END OF RUE MCCLANAHAN’S...

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:22:00 -0500

LOOK AT THE PAINTING AT THE END OF RUE MCCLANAHAN’S HALLWAY

Also, she had a spice rack that LED TO A FUCKING BEDROOM!!!

#QUOTABLES

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:50:54 -0500

#QUOTABLES

Of course this is a real magazine cover. Of course it is.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:58:10 -0500

Of course this is a real magazine cover.

Of course it is.

"Vote" "up" It Gets Betterish on Reddit and I'll "favorite" your "retweeted" "Tumbl" or something?

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:58:29 -0500

"Vote" "up" It Gets Betterish on Reddit and I'll "favorite" your "retweeted" "Tumbl" or something?

NOT.COOL.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:07:19 -0500

NOT.
COOL.

New It Gets Betterish episode, featuring Harvard Sailing...

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 12:24:12 -0500

New It Gets Betterish episode, featuring Harvard Sailing Team’s Faryn Einhorn, Disappointing Gay Best Friend’s Mikala Bierma, and Broad City’s Ilana Glazer (who is also my sister)!

Golden Girls fanatics, pay close attention (;

Eliot Glazer

So did Chris Brown, like, sign an Asshole Contract?

stryker: Every damn day. So sue me, I like to support my...

"I went to a plastic surgeon, and she said I had the worst deviated septum that she had ever seen...."

Woman in Comedy: A really scary thing happened to me last night at a comedy show.

Uh, I think you mean Which TLC band member are you?, because...

THE HAIRPIN FTW

OMG, SWV!!!

"We don’t have to have sex only with each other to be faithful. I’m completely faithful to him,..."

And we’re done here! So long, everything!

msknope: The best.

To all the H8RZ:NOW try telling us we’re not New York...

How is Don Lemon 46 years old???

bobbyfinger: tylercoates: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Mikala Bierma...

*GULP* (“I’m comfortable in my...

LOOK AT THE PAINTING AT THE END OF RUE MCCLANAHAN’S...

#QUOTABLES

Of course this is a real magazine cover. Of course it is.

"Vote" "up" It Gets Betterish on Reddit and I'll "favorite" your "retweeted" "Tumbl" or something?

NOT.COOL.

New It Gets Betterish episode, featuring Harvard Sailing...

GULP (“I’m comfortable in my...